Lately

I’m trying to think of something more ridiculous than having months-long writer’s block on a blog about your own life, but the only contenders are the fact that it’s taken me probably ten minutes and twice as many rewrites to compose this garbage sentence, and Donald Trump (but that was a given). God, I hate my own brain sometimes. I have not been in a good place lately, and every time I try to write about itor anything elseI become mentally paralyzed and just end up leaving the draft unfinished. I’m starting to think I might never write anything here besides these little blog quizzes that I can use as crutches. Even this one, I started a few weeks ago and kept not publishing. How is that possible? If you know, please tell me.

Lately, I am . . .

Feeling: like a human disaster
Making: a new friend, I hope
Drinking: coffee during the day, martinis at night
Reading: Skeptic, by Michael Shermer, and My Brilliant Friend, by Elena Ferrante (finally)
Watching: Matilda, because I just read Mara Wilson’s book, and re-watching Parks & Recreation because it was finally time
Anticipating: my first visit back to Utah since the last time I moved away
Listening: Hard Choices, by Hillary Rodham ClintonI just finished a day or two ago
Enjoying: cooler weather
Loving: my sweet nieces and nephew, who I miss even after seeing them yesterday
Needing: to figure out how to afford a therapist and anxiety medication
Coveting: my friends’ travel plans
Wishing: I had learned things about myself as a teenager that would have significantly changed the direction my life took (such as aforementioned need for therapy and anxiety medication)
Wearing: all my long-sleeved shirts while I can, before the heat comes back again, because it probably fucking will
Wanting: a different life than the one I have, or maybe just to be a different person; I can’t make up my mind
Aiming: to finish my degree somehow, at some point, some way

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